Call Me Dumbledore, or A Case for Abstinence

Today, I am Dumbledore.

Anybody read or seen Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince? I direct your memory to the scene in the cave, as Harry coaxes Dumbledore to drink a potion from the oversized chalice.

Now, pretend Harry is Jonga A, and Dumbledore is Jonga B, and the poison is 100 grams of glucose, fruit punch flavor. There you have my morning.

Jonga B: I have to drink all of this glucose within 10 minutes. It will make me sick. Do not let me stop. You MUST make me drink!

Jonga A: But, but….

Jonga B: It must be done!   [takes first swallow]  Okay, that’s not so bad…..ARRRRRGGGHHH!!

Jonga A: What? What? Oh no! [forces straw to mouth] Drink again.

Jonga B: No, no, don’t make me. I can’t. I can’t. Oh God, I’m going to puke. [gulps more glucose]

Jonga A: [sobbing] You’re doing a great job. You can do it. It’s almost gone. Drink once more. [offers glucose]

Jonga B: [moaning] No, I’m sorry, I’ll never get pregnant again, I promise. Please don’t make me.

Jonga A: Just one more, hurry, hurry!

Jonga B: [finishes bottle] WAAAATTTEEEEERRRR!

Jonga A: [Rushes to water fountain. Finds access blocked by zombies, a.k.a nurses] Oh no, foul fiends!

I’m not exactly gracious in the morning, especially when forced to drink a potion guaranteed to make me sick.

And why do I put myself through this? Why, to save the world, of course!  At least the world that my daughter will create around her, God willing.

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~ by gypsyjonga on August 25, 2009.

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